


breathe (honey)

by spicysoo



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Drugs, F/M, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a/b/o dynamics, but not the most happy of endings, domestic abuse, mating fic, mentions of mpreg, myungsoo is hurting and confused, somewhat of a happy ending, sunggyu has no idea what is going on, sungyeol is not a good person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-01-28
Packaged: 2018-03-09 11:36:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3248261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicysoo/pseuds/spicysoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Myungsoo's an unmated omega looking for his alpha mate, but when he goes into heat around his boss, Lee Sungyeol, he can't help but feel like he's finally found the one. It doesn't take long to find out that actually isn't the case.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"You want another?" A bartender quietly asks the omega in front of him, unable to stop himself from taking in the still-to-stiff form of the other's shoulders. The omega in front of him has already had four beers so far and yet, despite being slightly tipsy, was still nowhere near as comfortable as he should have been after drinking, especially since most omegas were prone to becoming quite relaxed when drunk. And with the slightly younger man looking as if he had wanted to be anywhere but there, but unable to leave due to work reasons, more specifically the party that he was with behind him, was a little odd to the bartender. But not so odd to the bartender either as it wasn't the weirdest thing he had seen while working there. 

While Myungsoo, who usually loosened up after his second beer or so, was in a state between being completely miserable about what was going on or was wanting to snap at the nearest person beside him, despite them doing nothing wrong. He hated after-parties, but he hated them even more when they were hosted by his seemingly fun loving boss, that usually had disgustingly, unneeded grabby hands when it came to him and his body. His omega genes giving him the type of body that naturally had him turning the heads of any alpha in the room, despite not wanting every alpha to speak to him, let alone touch his body.

(And he didn't really want anyone touching his body.)

His body was for his mate and his mate only, but when you were an unbonded omega, that usually meant jack to most alphas, including his boss and tormenter, Lee Sungyeol.

But not wanting to ruin Dongwoo's birthday party and make a scene because of something like that, Myungsoo could only grit his teeth and push down the uncomfortable feelings of being watched, of being harassed by his boss, as he silently nods for another beer. But before he can reach out and take the offered drink, Lee Sungyeol decides to sit down beside him and take the beer instead, giving it a long swig before turning his attention to Myungsoo, who was his omega secretary. 

Clenching his fists at the sight of his boss drinking beer, Myungsoo almost ready to throw a punch, especially when not only had Sungyeol taken his beer away, but was giving him this look that made him want to throw up, he can't help but be taken a little off guard when Sungyeol raises his free hand in surrender. The slightly older man telling him that he wasn't there to fight, or to at least receive any of Myungsoo's punches, even though Myungsoo had never thrown a punch in his life or even physically fought anyone either. But when it came to Sungyeol, it constantly seemed like it was a good idea half the time despite Myungsoo usually being against violence. 

"Whoa, Soo-ah, don't need to get pissy with me, I was just going to buy you a drink, a much better drink than the crappy beer that you've been drinking all night."

"It's Myungsoo, not Soo-ah," Myungsoo corrects his boss immediately, even though he's slightly surprised by the fact that the other wanted to get him a drink.

While Sungyeol can only wave dismissively at the other's words while he tells the bartender to get the two of them some fruity drink that Myungsoo would have never bought. Not because he didn't like them, but because of how expensive the drinks were and how fast the bill could pile up if he wanted to drink more than one. And more often than not, they were the type of drink that made people want to drink more than one.

Seeing Sungyeol take another drink of his beer before giving it back to him, a small smile on his face, the older man could only give, "Finish the rest of that as we wait, no need to be wasting beer, even if it's cheap and tastes like piss." 

Feeling his face turn a little red at Sungyeol's words, especially the last part, almost as if Sungyeol was making fun of him and what he liked to drink, even if the beer he was drinking wasn't his first choice and was just bought because it was within his budget. The other obviously knowing how much he got paid, because he actually paid him, Myungsoo couldn't help but grab the beer and quickly finish it off, drinking it as fast as he could. Not realizing it kind of tasted a little bit funny compared to before as he was too busy being embarrassed and angry to notice the difference in taste, he continued to drink it anyway. 

Sungyeol being the type to always get him in that type of state, the other constantly harassing him, forcing him to submit and accept his claim of dominance as an alpha. The other constantly making their statuses known, making sure Myungsoo knew who was the alpha in their relationship. The thought usually able to make him feel a bit sick, especially when omegas, betas, and alphas had the same rights for years, making all of them of equal status. But even then, that usually didn't stop some alphas from thinking that they were better than others, from trying to force their dominance among those they interacted with, especially omegas who they viewed as beings unable to do anything but cook, clean, and bear children. 

And in Myungsoo's case, a young man who was only trying to make ends meet and pay off his school bills before doing something he actually loved, he never really expected to meet an alpha like Sungyeol in his work place. And while it shouldn't have been a surprise to Myungsoo that Sungyeol was the way he was, especially since some alphas seemed to have a thicker head than they do knots, Myungsoo still hadn't expected to work in the conditions he did. Especially since the other alphas that he had known in his life were his dad, his younger brother, and one of his friends, Hoya, from college, all three of which had not only been good to him, but to the others around them as well. 

But looking at Sungyeol and the type of alphas he represented, it was a pity that omegas like him had to hunt their true alpha mates down. Because having to deal with idiots like Sungyeol in the meantime was quite the hardship. Especially since all omegas were only able to mate with an alpha that was clearly their mate, but that didn't stop Sungyeol and other alphas from wanting omegas like him anyway.

But since Sungyeol is his boss and Myungsoo can't afford to quit and look around for a new job, Myungsoo just has to hold his tongue so he doesn't get into trouble. Because despite omegas having the same rights as betas and alphas, many still hired betas and alphas over omegas and when it came to lawsuits, it was usually a one out of five chance for an omega to beat an alpha during a case. And because of that and Myungsoo's debts, Myungsoo refuses to leave his job for an idiot like Sungyeol, especially since he only has to put up with it for another year or two before he can leave.

And even though the harassment is getting worse as it had barely been a week ago when Sungyeol had literally locked the two of them in the copy room, Sungyeol claiming that he wanted to get to know Myungsoo better (the situation leaving Myungsoo in a right mess, nervous and uncomfortable around the man, despite the other's intention of just wanting to get to know him), Myungsoo can't help but have second thoughts about everything that was going on. But the debt and not wanting to be a burden to his parents with his school fees, Myungsoo's just been silently bearing with it until he really needed to tell someone about what was going on. Because despite how strong Myungsoo was trying to be, there was constantly a thought in the back of his head that told him that it was only a matter of time before things got worse and Sungyeol was actually going to assault him instead of just talk to him the way he did or accidentally grope his ass on occasion. 

But not wanting to think about that (or how he should probably report Sungyeol to someone, but with him being his boss and all and leaving him in a position where he probably can't even do such a thing anyway), Myungsoo quickly takes the offered drink from the bartender when he's finished making them and downs it in one go. Only for Sungyeol to softly comment, "Good," before he's taking a drink himself and grabbing Myungsoo to bring him where Dongwoo is. 

Hurrying to the table where the rest of his colleagues are, ignoring the way his body feels a little hot and itchy, he takes a seat beside the smaller male, Sungyeol at his side. 

"You having fun?" Myungsoo quietly manages to ask the other, Dongwoo quickly replying yes before letting Myungsoo join on his and the rest of their colleagues conversations. Dongwoo giving him side hugs every once in a while and causing him and his colleagues to laugh, Myungsoo finally finds himself able to relax just a bit. And when Sungyeol brings him another drink, just as fruity, sweet, and good as the last, Myungsoo's finds himself too busy talking to his friends to care about anything else.

But on his way home, a couple of hours later, the slight itchy and warm feeling he had felt earlier comes back. But beyond tipsy from all the drinking he had done, Myungsoo can only dismiss it as he quickly blames the alcohol for the way he's feeling, he rests his eyes during the taxi ride home.

Once he reaches his apartment complex, tired and just sober enought to make it up to his place, he can't help but notice one of the doors slightly ajar and a stack of unopened boxes placed in the hallway, telling him that he has a new neighbor. Opening the door to his apartment, Myungsoo can only make a note about making the other some food and greeting the new neighbor tomorrow. 

Too tired to do much more than sleep, Myungsoo finally finds himself collapsing on his bed, falling asleep as soon as his head touches his pillow. 

\---

Unable to stop himself from pushing back onto the cock stretching him open, the other man's cock moving sinfully against his prostate, Myungsoo can't help but gasp from the sensations. Pleasure rocking through him with every thrust, so much so, that it doesn't take much longer for him to go still against the other man, back arching as he comes. 

Waking up with a gasp, right hand curled around his softening dick, hand sticky from cum, Myungsoo can't help but softly swear. He feels too much like an awkward teenager, almost as if he was back in high school, he can't help but feel a little terrible for taking so long to find a mate, to find someone that loves him for who he is. The thought of turning twenty-four that year rings through his head, his age easily telling him how odd he really is. 

It isn't common to be unmated past twenty-two years old, most people finding their mates in high school and college, that it's weird for him as an omega to be single at that age. Especially since most omegas were already married and having kids, something of which Myungsoo wanted to do one day, finally able to have a little girl or two of his own, Myungsoo can't help but feel old. The thought of other omegas giving him pitiful, sad glances whenever they saw him on his way to work, taking care of their children and mates or talking to their friends about the baby or babies that are on their way, Myungsoo feels like shit. The looks usually able to make him feel damaged and unwanted in ways that make him question his worth, despite his family being okay with him not having a mate just yet, Myungsoo's knows he probably looks just as desperate as he feels sometimes. And with Sungyeol constantly harassing him, Sungyeol probably picks up on that fact too, looking at Myungsoo as if he's one step away from giving in to him so that he can be knotted and get the family he so desperately wants. 

Slipping out of his sticky boxer-briefs and throwing them in the laundry, he can only stumble his way to his nearby bathroom, needing to wash off. Jumping into the shower, he can only sigh in relief when he feels the warm water fall upon him, washing the last moments of his dream away, his eyes shoot open in surprise when he feels slick running from his hole and down his thighs. The thought of someone filling him up once again, giving him pleasure in a way that he's never ever had before, has Myungsoo moving his fingers to his rear, intending to finger himself. 

Slipping his index finger into his hole, feeling slick and warmth wrapped around it, he slowly begins sliding his finger in and out. Another finger quickly joining a moment later, stretching himself open while he tries to find that spot inside of him that makes him feel stars. It doesn't take long until he has three fingers in his ass, index finger brushing against his prostate on every third thrust, he comes a couple of minutes later, panting against the shower wall. 

Legs weak and shaking, he eventually finds himself sitting on the floor, head leaning against the wall, tired and spent and still a little bit hot. He spends his morning there until his alarm clock blares, body still hot to the touch.

\---

Stepping into the office, Myungsoo can't help but go straight to the coffee machine and select one of his favorite brews, something vanilla flavored that seems to make his day a little bit better, he lets the machine fill his cup until it's two-thirds of the way full. Disregarding the packets of sugar, Myungsoo quickly puts a couple of single-serve creamers into his coffee, before he's able to take a drink.

Smiling at the taste, at the flavors that assaulted his tongue, he barely even notices his boss until he's right behind him, voice unnaturally smooth as he mutters, "Morning Soo-ah, how's your coffee?"

Instead of frowning at the use of that nickname, especially when it was being used by Sungyeol instead of a close friend or family member, Myungsoo feels weirdly indifferent to the name. He doesn't feel the usual annoyance that pops up whenever his boss uses that name, the other constantly using it as a way to make it feel as if the two were quite close and were closer than just your usual boss-secretary relationship, Myungsoo surprisingly finds himself leaning against the other just a tad, despite the foot he usually tried to put in between them at all times. His body having a mind of its own, an unnatural warmth making its way through him, making him feel heady in a way that he wasn't used to feeling. He feels a tad weightless and too warm, almost as if the sun was beating down on him at that very second, his body yells at him to get closer to the other, to bend down, and submit, to offer his body up so that the other can breed him until he's pregnant and happy. 

The thought of Sungyeol doing such a thing scares him a little, but when Sungyeol puts a hand along the dip of his back, he almost mewl's "Sungyeol-ssi," instead. 

Smirking at Myungsoo's words, Sungyeol starts rubbing the other's back as he whispers into the omega's ear, "Just call me Sungyeol, no need to be so formal with me Soo-ah."

Starting to sweat, body too hot and almost itchy in a way that makes him want to crawl out of his skin, he can't help but yelp when Sungyeol's hand moves lower and lower until it's placed possessively against his ass. Cheeks turning red and body going haywire at the touch, so much so that Myungsoo can't even whip himself around and slap the other for inappropriate touching, he almost falls over when Sungyeol leans in even more to ask him what's wrong. Only for the other to squeeze his ass, causing him to moan at the touch, Myungsoo feeling something within him start. It feels so strange, that it isn't until he feels his underwear start to get a little wet does everything start to make sense, becomes crystal clear to him. 

Blocking out Sungyeol's words of "Are you in heat? Are you in going into heat," Myungsoo can't help but think back to the health classes that he had to take as a teen. His teachers telling him when his body would go into heat, when his body would get hot and his ass would start to produce slick, his body telling him that his alpha was near, his body having chosen his mate, does realization done on him. 

He's in heat. 

His body is finally reacting to someone that is his mate... 

He's found his alpha.

But instead of being ecstatic about it, he can't help but feel weird. Especially when most omegas started their heat when they first saw their alphas, almost as if they were fated to fall in love at first sight. But in Myungsoo's case, Sungyeol was someone that he had known for half a year now and shouldn't he have felt this way when he had first met the other man, and not months later?

Unable to answer that question, but his body betraying him more and more by the second, getting so close to Sungyeol that Myungsoo was almost on top of him, Myungsoo couldn't help but forget those thoughts. His body too busy crying at the fact that it needed something that only an alpha could give him, that only Sungyeol could give him. 

He needed a knot and he needed it now and if he didn't get it, then there would be pain, and Myungsoo couldn't deal with the pain. 

It didn't even matter when he started to hear a few of their colleagues step into the office, talking to each other about their night, one or two moaning about their hangovers that they had received last night from drinking a little too much. The men and woman too involved in their conversations and minds to really notice what was happening in the kitchen a couple of feet past their desks. 

They were literally ten feet away, and yet, they knew nothing of what was going on between Sungyeol and Myungsoo. And even if they did, they probably wouldn't care either as it was frowned upon to break up an alpha and omega mating, knowing if they did, it would only cause pain to the omega that was suffering. Their heat making their bodies crave a knot so bad that it even started to hurt. While the alpha involved got high off of an omega's scent, their pheromones so powerful that it was almost impossible to take an alpha away from their mate. Their instincts going to their forefront of their minds and the instinct to knot, to mate, being more powerful than anything else. 

An alpha-omega mating was biology and no one wanted to get in the way of that, especially when it meant the two were mates, were destined for each other. 

Feeling Sungyeol finally withdraw his hand away from his ass, only for his arm to wrap itself around his middle, Myungsoo doesn't know whether he should sigh in relief or cry at the thought of Sungyeol doing nothing to help. With slick continuing to drip from his body, his body feeling hotter than a desert, and this slight pain that was starting to happen; Myungsoo was completely desperate now. But knowing that his colleagues and some of his friends were barely ten feet away, Myungsoo can't help but feel embarrassed by the state he's in, despite it being a natural occurrence that wouldn't have been looked down upon. 

He doesn't want them to see. 

Legs shaking and body starting to shiver, almost uncontrollably at that, he can't help but rasp out, "Sungyeol?"

Only for the older man to ask, "Yes, Soo-ah," as he pulls Myungsoo closer to him and inserts one of his thighs in between Myungsoo's legs. The thigh touching Myungsoo just so that he can't help but grind down a little, feeling the need to be taken care of, to be fucked.

"Sungyeol..." 

Unable to voice what he wants, but his body telling the other what he wants anyway, it doesn't take long for Sungyeol to pull him into a kiss, mouth hard and demanding against his. Sungyeol pushing him until he's against the wall, the other's thigh between his and rubbing back and forth, making Myungsoo cry out a little into the kiss. The thought of his colleagues finding out leaving him as Sungyeol nibbles against his bottom lip and his hands tug roughly against his clothes, undoing Myungsoo's belt to pull his pants down until they are around his knees. 

Breaking the kiss, Sungyeol can only whisper, voice hard - stern, "Turn around, hands against the wall," as he pushes the other until he's situated that way before he's unbuckling his pants too. Only for him to pull Myungsoo back just enough so that he can easily slide in, his dick barely meeting any resistance due to the slick. Myungsoo's hole feeling unnaturally hot and tight against his dick that Sungyeol can't help but proceed to roughly fuck Myungsoo. Not caring if he's hurting the other or ruining Myungsoo's dreams of having the type of sex that was making love, rather than a hard fuck meant to make people feel used. But when Sungyeol's knot pushes past the rim of his hole, Myungsoo can only see stars as he comes with a long, soft moan that has him shaking. Sungyeol's knot feeling huge inside of him, keeping Sungyeol's seed secured within his body. 

Pulling the other closer, fingers digging into Myungsoo's sides, leaving finger-shaped bruises, Sungyeol softly slurs, almost as if he's drunk and he kind of is, drunk off Myungsoo's pheromones, "What a perfect little hole you have, so tight and warm encasing my knot... It's as if your hole doesn't want to let me go, almost as if it's hungry for my seed, my cum. You a hungry little whore? A slut?"

Shivering at the other's words, too far gone to really notice half of what Sungyeol's saying (things that would have had Myungsoo actually punching the man if he had been conscious enough to do so), Myungsoo can't help but keen. Only for Sungyeol to speak a little bit more, words just as dirty as the last, but in this alpha tone that makes Myungsoo's vision go white, a second orgasm washes over him as he mutters, "Please, please, please-"

While Sungyeol can only chuckle, almost delirious from what had just happened, at how slutty his boy really was, he can't help but mutter into Myungsoo's ear, "With as hungry as your hole is, at how much it's still sucking me in, it shouldn't take me that long to get you pregnant at all. Your body's literally asking for it... You want to get pregnant Soo-ah?"

Body instinctively wanting that to happen, his body wanting to create a baby throughout this little mess, Myungsoo can only ground his hips down in response, even if he subconsciously didn't want that to happen with Sungyeol at all. But too far gone to really care, instincts overdriving everything else, he can't help but let his body react to how it wanted to react.

Myungsoo needed his mate and he needed him now.


	2. Chapter 2

The heat lasts four days; four tiring days of the two having sex and nothing but sex. Sungyeol roughly handling him in ways that Myungsoo never expected to experience for his first time (Myungsoo being a virgin when taken, Sungyeol not realizing that it was Myungsoo's first time, even though it was pretty obvious.), the older man making sure he'd feel his touch for days. Something of which has Myungsoo feeling completely terrible, body too tired and sore to even move and with how little he had gotten to eat and drink throughout his heat, it's not a wonder why he's in the condition that he's in. But chalking it up to Sungyeol being too busy taking care of his sexual needs instead of completely Myungsoo's, omega pheromones easily making him forget such things, Myungsoo can't really bring it upon himself to blame the other for treating him the way he did. Even if he should. 

But omega pheromones were powerful, so powerful that even the strongest of alphas could succumb to them. Instinct literally driving them to do things that they didn't always mean, making them more primal and animal like than what they were used to being in this world. However, with alpha-omega couplings, it was okay to give into their instincts. Society literally giving them a free pass to give into those needs whenever it came to their mates, their heats, and any matter related to the health and safety of their mate. Omegas were quite precious and while not really rare, they were still less in number than betas, and alphas had the right to protect their omega mates as they saw fit. 

Sighing a little and trying to keep his mind off the pain that was wracking through him whenever he moved, Myungsoo can only silently look around the room, taking in the size of it, as well as the expensive items within it. Items that would take years for Myungsoo to afford, and even then, if he was lucky enough to afford them in the first place. If he really wanted them that is, but with how simple Myungsoo was and how much joy he took from the more simple things in life, he didn't really need many of the things that he was seeing. They were nice and he could appreciate them, but he definitely didn't need them like Sungyeol needed them. The older man used to money and having things that most people couldn't really afford. 

Sungyeol's house was also quite huge, much bigger than anything Myungsoo had ever stayed in before and while it should have made Myungsoo feel more secure in the sense that his mate was obviously wealthy and would be able to not only take care of him, but also any of the kids that they would have, Myungsoo felt anything but. He didn't need such things, he didn't need a big house like this, but despite that, he still should have been a little bit more excited at the prospect of that fact. But he didn't.

He didn't even feel the excitement to being mated, to finally being with his one true mate, his other half, either. But as he lies in the bed, waiting for Sungyeol to come back, all he can feel is pain and this tiredness that seeps into his bones, fatiguing him. There is no excitement to be found at his recent mating, no honeymoon period to speak of. And Myungsoo doesn't know why.

But when Sungyeol comes into the room with snacks and some water, all Myungsoo can do is try to be excited at finally having been mated that he can only give the other man a tired, barely there smile as the other slowly walks to the bed. But when Sungyeol sits beside him and tries to feed him some grapes, trying to restore some of the energy that Myungsoo had lost and needs to replenish after his heat, Myungsoo feels like he wants to be anywhere but there. Even being stuck at the bottom of the ocean feels as if it would be a better place than being in bed with his boss. 

That feeling scares him, so much so, that when Sungyeol moves in to nibble onto his collarbone, marking him, Myungsoo doesn't feel anything akin to love or warmth or comfort.

Everything feels so different compared to how his parents had described, and more than ever, he just wants to cry because of it. But not wanting to startle the other man with his tears, Myungsoo manages to hold them back. However, despite his focus on trying not to cry, Myungsoo still can't help but think: 

What the hell is wrong with him? 

\---

Silently opening the door to his apartment, pain lacing through his body with every movement, Myungsoo can only dejectedly walk to the fridge, pull out some ice cream and a spoon, before making his way to his couch to call his mother. Curling up on the seat he's on and opening the ice cream to have a taste, he can only wait for his mother to answer before he's telling her the 'good news.' 

His mother is obviously excited by the news, but when she hears how tired and depressed her baby sounds, she can't help but feel as if something was going on. Especially when she hears a light sniffle, almost as if Myungsoo was trying to hold back his tears. 

"What's wrong? Did something happen? Was your mate not good with you?" 

Not wanting her to worry any more than she is, Myungsoo can only stamp on the tears he knows are about to fall, as he softly sighs, "No... It was just different than what I thought it would be..." 

"Oh, baby, Not everything is going to live up to your expectations, life isn't like the romance manhwa that you used to read and with mating, everyone is different. Maybe you two just have to work on being together rather than just clicking right away, maybe you just have to test the waters a bit until things start to make sense... It's not like omegas can be wrong about mating, because once their heat hits, that means they've found their true mate, the one they're meant for. And biology isn't wrong."

Feeling even more distressed at his mother's words, at the way she was telling him that biology couldn't be wrong and that when his body reacted to Sungyeol, the older man had became his true mate, that Myungsoo can't help feel worse. He feels wrong, inadequate for questioning his mating and mate like this, even though he knows he shouldn't, he softly admits, "I-I met Sungyeol months ago though and it wasn't until just recently that this happened... And I - And I don't know - no, I just don't feel anything. Shouldn't I feel something? Anything at all?"

His mother can only stay quiet as she takes in her son's words, taking in the distress that she's picking up in his voice, that she can't help but admit, "I don't know honey... Maybe you're just shocked about everything and you just needs a couple of days for it to get better once the shock goes away. And it will get better, trust me. So please remember that, okay?" 

But Myungsoo doesn't, because it shouldn't be that way, it shouldn't be like this. Because unlike betas that can date and mingle and take time to find their true mates, it's all biology with omegas and alphas. Omegas have heats and they only have them with their true mates, the person that completes them. And unlike betas that can actually divorce and change partners at the drop of a hat, omegas aren't like that. Mates last forever and for Myungsoo to feel this way, to feel so lost, numb, tired, and in pain, so much so that it makes his heart hurt, he's fucked up. 

He's must have done something to feel as wrong as he does, to feel as miserable as he's feeling, even though he should be ecstatic and feel as if he's on cloud nine for finally finding his alpha, but something has happened and he doesn't know what. He should be happy with Sungyeol, he should want to stay with the other and bask in his warmth, but when he thinks about it, he feels nothing like that. 

And with his mother being an omega, seeing her interactions with his father, seeing how connected the two of them were, how much they loved each other, Myungsoo had always longed for that type of connection, whether it was made consciously or subconsciously. Even during middle school where kids made faces at the thought of marriage, too busy having fun, Myungsoo had always been interested in finding his mate, in having someone that was only meant for him, even if it had made him look uncool. 

But not wanting to worry his mother anymore, Myungsoo can't help but bring himself to quietly admit to her that she was probably right and that he was just getting cold feet and that a couple of days from now, he'd be feeling what he was supposed to be feeling. Only for him to hear his mother make a small noise in agreement before mentioning again about how that would be the case and that he'd probably be laughing about this when it happened, feeling a bit like a fool for ever doubting his instincts in the first place. Giving a soft "Yeah," Myungsoo can only softly bid his mother farewell before he's finally hanging up the phone, just as upset as he was before. Throwing the phone into the pillow beside him on his couch, Myungsoo couldn't help but curl up even more, ice cream still in hand, as he tries to ignore the lonely feeling that has settled within his chest. 

Something's obviously wrong with him and he doesn't know what. 

\---

Finishing up with the kimchi jjigae and pickled radishes, Myungsoo quickly puts a few scoops in the tupperware before him, completing the small feast he had made for his new neighbor. The man going to get a home-cooked meal to eat instead of whatever he was eating, Myungsoo assuming that he was eating take out and ramen as he waited for everything to be turned on in his apartment. The landlord being the type of person that took about a week to get everything up and running for his new occupants that Myungsoo was sure the man would be appreciative of the gesture. 

Closing the plastic cases and situating them in a bag, before cleaning up, it doesn't take him more than a few minutes to walk outside the door to place himself before room 303. Softly knocking, hoping the other was home and could receive his food, he wasn't expecting the door to open and wave of heat to hit him. Only for the alpha to quickly step out of the room as if something had called him out there, telling him that he needed to see whatever it is. 

While Myungsoo can only take in the slightly shorter man, noticing the broad shoulders, the calloused hands (hands that he wants more than anything for them to touch him) and these distinct eyes that make him feel as if the carpet has been ripped out from under him, that Myungsoo can't help but feel slightly woozy at the sight. The man in front of him smells completely amazing, so much so that Myungsoo just wants the other to wrap himself around him, embracing him until he feels safe and good again, Myungsoo feels a little confused. 

But when the other just steps closer to him, stepping into his personal space as if he belonged there, Myungsoo doesn't know what's going on until the other is hugging him. Strong arms pulling in so that he's as close as he could be without causing the two of them to fall over, Myungsoo can't help but continue to breathe in the other's scent, letting it wash over him for a second, his body reacting to the other man. It isn't until the arms of the alpha move lower to circle his waist, hand rubbing circles into the flesh between shirt and pants does everything stop. 

Pulling back, the alpha can only look at him, taking in his flushed face, the collarbone peaking out from under his shirt, and pants tight enough to show off an ass that he can't help but want to worship, before he's frowning at the scent that reaches his nose. Voice rough, the other can only grit out, causing Myungsoo's stomach to bottom out, "You're scented. You're claimed."

Tensing at the other's words, heat flowing through him like molten lava, but mind slowly becoming alert through the haze of lust that had gripped not only him and the other seconds ago, Myungsoo can't help but feel sick. 

This man isn't his alpha, isn't the one who mated with him, and yet-

"You're mated." The alpha interrupts, free hand waving at Myungsoo's body, silently telling Myungsoo what was wrong, unable to put what he wanted to say into words.

While Myungsoo can only note the accusation, rage, and anguish in the other's eyes, his alpha's eyes, and Myungsoo feels even sicker as he barely manages to say, "Ye-yeah," answering the other's silent questions. 

He feels completely embarrassed by the way his body reacted to the alpha in front of him, despite being mated to an alpha already, that when the feelings don't leave, he feels even worse. The need to be claimed, marked, and knotted by the alpha in front of him is ringing in his ears, and he feels completely horrible to want something like that. 

This alpha isn't his alpha, but he still wants him, needs him. 

But with his body smelling like another alpha, like Sungyeol, the other man can only retreat. The other's hands clenching into fists and shoulders shaking in a way that makes Myungsoo want to reach out and pull him closer, to comfort him, it isn't until he notices the look in the other's eyes does it have him moving a little closer. 

Only for the other to mutter something about Myungsoo possibly being his, something that can't be true, even if Myungsoo's heart feels like it's exploding in his chest at the thought. It's only the sound of the elevator that catches the two by surprise, Myungsoo dropping the food that he has as he feels like he wants to curl into a little ball and apologize. While the alpha in front of him can only look at the elevator, anger in his eyes at the sight that greets him. 

Sungyeol situated barely ten feet away from the two, taking in the way Myungsoo looks with the alpha before him, does he finally assume an attacking position. His instincts demanding him to not back down from the fight, demanding him to claim what is rightfully his and not the other alpha's. Myungsoo is his mate and his mate only and no one's going to take the other away. 

Seeing Sungyeol make himself bigger, more intimidating, obviously angry at what was happening before him, telling him to move away from the man beside him, he can only shrink in on himself, suddenly giving up. He can only cast a sideways glance at Myungsoo who is now slumped against the wall beside his door, silently waiting for whatever is going to happen next, he feels the need to go. 

While Myungsoo can only watch, struggling against the somewhat familiar heat and the confusion that was befuddling his mind, the alpha grab the bag that he had brought over before returning to his room. The click of his door resounding throughout the hall, making Myungsoo's heart hurt at the thought of himself fucking everything up, he can't help but want to follow the other and make things right. 

Only for Sungyeol to pin him down with a glare as he yells, "What the fuck was that?" 

Myungsoo completely clueless on how to answer can only begin with "I-I-"

Before Sungyeol is interrupting him with another "What the fuck were you doing?" as he took a few steps forward, his rage evident in his voice. A rage that Myungsoo should be completely scared of at that moment, but somehow instead of feeling that rage, his anger, and confusion, but he feels his neighbor's rage, so loud and clear, hot on his skin, almost as if the other was there, right behind him, he flinches when he hears a loud crash come from behind him. The alpha that he had met that day was quite angry at the turn of events.

While Sungyeol could only take advantage of his reaction as he's suddenly grabbing his arm and pulling him into his room and pushing him against the wall. His eyes dark with an almost murderous rage that Myungsoo can't help but gulp in terror when the other accuses, "You wanted him to fuck you. You wanted him to mate you." 

And despite his fear, Myungsoo knows its true. He wanted the other, he wanted him so badly, and yet, he had an alpha right in front of him. 

Stomach rolling from guilt and contempt at himself for wanting to cheat on his mate, Myungsoo stays silent. While his mind can only provide him pictures of the other alpha, the other man taking care of him and making him feel good, that the heat spikes through him like a wildfire.

Sungyeol can only whisper, words like acid on his tongue, "You little whore, you fucking slut," before he's pushing Myungsoo towards his couch, tearing off his clothes along the way.

Pulling Myungsoo's underwear down, Sungyeol's fingers quickly find the other's hole, Sungyeol isn't surprised to find the other leaking already, hot and slick against his digits. He's furious at the thought of Myungsoo almost giving himself to another man, to another alpha at that, almost as if their time together meant nothing. Unbuckling his belt to pull his pants down, it's barely seconds later that Sungyeol's sliding inside of Myungsoo without any warning, Myungsoo's hole tight and hot against his dick once again. A familiar feeling tainted by the sight he had just seen that he can't help but angrily pound into the other, words like daggers falling from his mouth, obviously meant to hurt the other man. 

Almost crying at the brutal pace, but sobbing at the words that were coming out of Sungyeol's mouth, while his body was being anything but cooperative, it almost surprises Myungsoo when Sungyeol's dick finally finds his prostate to constantly rub against it to make him come. Arching at the sudden pleasure, but cheeks wet with tears, he almost wants to scream at himself when he hears himself moaning. His body still feeling a lust of haze, of heat, that made everything fuzzy and warm in ways that weren't like that at all.

He wants nothing more than to find that other alpha and have him wrap his arms around him and take him away, but as Sungyeol continues to pound into him, harshly pulling in and out, Myungsoo comes again when he feels Sungyeol's knot push past his rim, filling him up. His body milking the other for all he was worth, even if Myungsoo felt like the other alpha would have been better. But Sungyeol was his mate and he shouldn't think like that, even if he couldn't help it. 

Feeling Sungyeol pull away from him, cum and slick dripping from his hole, he can't help but splutter and cough when Sungyeol pushes his head down to his cock, anger still lacing his voice as he orders, "Suck it, no teeth." 

Bobbing his head up and down, sucking at Sungyeol's dick, he can't help but feel gross as tears start to stream out of his eyes again. While Sungyeol can only grab the back of his head and harshly pull onto his hair as he moans, enjoying the way Myungsoo's mouth feels along his length, he groans, "So fucking good Soo-ah... So fucking good." 

Only to continue on a second later, voice a little bit darker and harsher than it was before, "If I knock you up, would you stop going around looking for other alpha's knots like a whore? Would you stop being the little slut that you are?" 

Crying at the words, at how awful Sungyeol was treating him, Myungsoo can't help but think back to the conversation that he had with his mother. The woman telling him that he had needed to try to make things work, to become as happy as his parents, that Myungsoo eventually just finds himself humming to get Sungyeol off, feeling more terrible at himself and his behavior than Sungyeol's. Sungyeol was trying to do him right, was trying to make him happy, and yet, here, Myungsoo was, going around trying to cheat on him with another alpha. 

Sucking down the other's cum and almost gagging at the taste, he's not prepared for Sungyeol to push him off his dick and pull him into a kiss, quickly dominating it as soon as he captured his lips. Kiss so hard that Myungsoo's sure his lips are bound to be puffy and bruised. It doesn't help that barely a couple of minutes later of harsh, dominating kisses that leave him breathless, he yelps when the other harshly bites his bottom lip hard enough to bleed. Only for Sungyeol to softly soothe the wound with his tongue, eventually slowing down the kiss just enough to make Myungsoo moan into the kiss. His body responding to the contrast of Sungyeol slowly, but deeply kissing him, similar to how a lover should, that he can't help but find himself grinding down on Sungyeol's lap, silently asking for more. His hole begging to be filled once again, his body so hot and aching for it that Sungyeol can't help but laugh. 

"You really want to get bred don't you?" 

Disgust running through him at the thought of carrying Sungyeol's kids, despite that thought being something that he should want, many omegas wanting kids within days of their heat, he can't help but feel terrible for feeling that way, for being different... Possibly even damaged. 

Sungyeol is his mate, is his love, and for him to think the way that he was thinking, he had to be in the wrong...

Didn't he? 

But with his body feeling as if it was literally on fire, his hole aching and clenching around nothing but slick and cum, it isn't long before the lustful haze causes him to forget those feelings once again, Sungyeol preparing to take him once more. The other man showing him how much he owns him, how much Myungsoo is his, that he uses Myungsoo as he likes, not caring if he hurts and continues to hurt the younger man throughout their mating.

While Myungsoo can only quietly take the abuse... 

His heart soflty clenches in agony.


	3. Chapter 3

Myungsoo can't help but stop when he spots him, the feeling of wanting to run over to the other man and have him in his arms, to let him love him in ways that he sometimes - no, always feels like Sungyeol's unable to do comes over him so fast that he almost barrels over and falls to his knees at the intensity of those feelings. The feelings so sudden and intense, yet almost familiar, despite it being a week since the two had last seen each other, his body's suddenly burning up with a fire that spreads through him so quick that it feels like it's burning him from the inside out. He's yearning for the other alpha's touch, his attention, and despite having chosen one already, an alpha that was more than ready to take care of him and spend his vacation with him, makes him feel odd, especially since he shouldn't be having such feelings towards someone else that wasn't his mate.

And while Myungsoo didn't want to spend his vacation with Sungyeol, at least no yet as he had been saving his vacation days up for something special, he found that hanging out with Sungyeol was going to be as special as he was going to get. Even if he thought that he'd rather be sick in bed, than have to spend his time down south with the other man. The sweltering heat already making him wary, even though he wasn't supposed to meet Sungyeol for another hour or so, the other man picking him up so that they could head up to one of the casino/hotels that had propped up within the past couple of years. A place that Myungsoo didn't really want to go to, especially since there wasn't much there for him to do. 

He'd prefer something near the mountains where he and his mate could stay in a cabin for a couple of days, learn how to ski, take pictures, and then cuddle up and watch some movies after a tiring day, drinking a lot of sweet tasting teas and hot chocolate around the fire. That type of vacation sounded nice to Myungsoo, and if that wasn't possible, then Myungsoo preferred something much more home-y and relaxed instead of being charted off to gamble, have too much sex until he was literally too sore to move, and be miserable the whole time he was there. He'd rather stay in the apartment, cuddle with his mate, occasionally have sex, make food and relax for a few days, actually trying to create a bond between the two. A bond that he hadn't been feeling between him and Sungyeol since the start, even though his body told him that Sungyeol was the one. 

But ever since Sungyeol had mated with him, all he wanted to do was show him off to some of his other friends before taking him away to lock him up in the hotel and force him to do things that he didn't really want to be doing. Sungyeol wanted to show him off as if he was some type of trophy to be won, even though Myungsoo pretty much knew he wasn't that special or great to be even considered such a thing. He felt like a toy and...

Then someone's arms were wrapping themselves around him, taking his laundry bag away. His alpha greeting him with a kiss before turning to the other alpha in the hall to give him a look, something passing between the two, before his alpha was bringing his free hand to grab Myungsoo's ass to squeeze it. Jumping at the sudden grope, Myungsoo's ears turning completely red and the heat intensifying a little bit, making him want to groan in pleasure, instead of wanting to hit the other for being so rude. Myungsoo feels confused, almost as if his brain was unable to catch up with everything. 

While the other alpha can only ignore the way Sungyeol acts around his mate, suddenly feeling the urge to punch the other across the face for his behavior, especially when Myungsoo looks kind of uncomfortable underneath the other's holds. But not wanting to have what happened last time, he manages to hold the anger in before being able to introduce himself instead, "I'm not going to do anything, I just wanted to introduce myself, and since our first meeting wasn't the best, I just wanted to get on better grounds. The name's Kim Sunggyu, I live in apartment 303." 

Moving out to offer his hand, Sunggyu can only wait for the other to shake it in response. But when he looks up to see Myungsoo staring at him with dark eyes, so dark they're almost black, looking quite intense in an enticing sort of way, Sunggyu can't help but want to touch the other. But with Myungsoo's alpha giving him looks despite his friendliness, he quickly decides against it. Even though his body is strumming with the need to pull Myungsoo away from the other and wrap his arms around him until he felt warm and safe. While Myungsoo on the other hand can only feel a little relief, especially when he didn't know what he would have done if Sunggyu had touched him, especially when his body literally hums for the other alpha, despite having one already. 

But it's definitely a good thing that Sunggyu's been able to control himself, because Myungsoo is trying so hard not to do something so irrevocably stupid to the point that it would not only anger his mate, but would also put Sunggyu in jeopardy, and Myungsoo didn't want that. He didn't want the two to end up fighting about him, especially since it would be his fault, while Sunggyu would be innocent. Because at the end of the day, it was Myungsoo who was the odd one with a body that wanted something it couldn't have. 

"Myungsoo." 

Ducking his head at the call of his name and tugging at his collar to hide the visible bite marks and hickeys that lied across his neck, almost as if they were a mural of blues, blacks, and reds. Sungyeol ravaging him as if he was some type of beast, accidentally hurting him in the process, Myungsoo can only chock it up to rough sex. Because as much as Sungyeol hurt him, the other still loved him, didn't he?

This thinking easily making him feel worse, especially when Myungsoo should have been a good omega and displayed those marks proudly, showing the other that he was Sungyeol's and that he was proud and happy to be his mate, all Myungsoo can do is feel disgust and anxiety at even doing such a thing. His body feels gross and disgusting and just having Sungyeol's marks on him makes him feel repulsed, almost as if they aren't supposed to be there in the first place. Almost as if the marks were trash that was littering his skin, causing him pain.

He hated it.

He hated feeling that way, feeling as if something was wrong between him and Sungyeol, as if something was completely wrong with him and that he was in the wrong with everything. He was the one that was feeling all these odd emotions and constantly felt unsettled by Sungyeol's presence, despite being mated to him. He tries not to feel as if Sunggyu's the one instead, as if Sunggyu is actually his real mate and would become his prince, taking him away from a life of pain, confusion, and the constant thoughts of feeling wrong or having Sungyeol feel all wrong for him instead.

Sunggyu's just his neighbor, his hot as fuck neighbor, but his neighbor that should have nothing to do with him.

While all Sunggyu can do is ignore the way Sungyeol ignores his hand and the way Myungsoo is starting to look absolutely wrecked under Sungyeol's hold, but knowing it's not his place to say anything about that, all he can do is take a deep breath and apologize again, telling the two that he was in the wrong. That he was the one that fucked up and overstepped his boundaries, trying to lay claim on a mated omega that supposedly wasn't his. Even though his instincts kept telling him that Myungsoo truly was his.

Unused to hearing apologies from an alpha that wasn't Hoya, his brother, or his father, Myungsoo can't help but have his eyes come up from his feet and look at the other alpha in front of him. Only to see sincerity and a softness to the other's eyes that weren't in Sungyeol's.

Shivering at what he was seeing, only for Sungyeol to dig his nails into his skin, Myungsoo can only manage to whisper, "Sungyeol's my mate... We-uh, we mated a week ago... He's my alpha... He's... Right?"

Unable to stop the question from crossing his lips, especially with Sunggyu looking at him as if he was the best thing in the world, as if he was actually special, something to be treasured, Myungsoo wonders if maybe he's not the only one feeling something here. But knowing that something like that can't be right, especially when his body reacts to Sungyeol the way it does, he can only dismiss those thoughts, not matter how much he wants them to be true. Sunggyu obviously doesn't like him like that, the man is obviously not his mate, and he's most likely just reacting to the pheromones that Myungsoo's been giving off.

His freaking pheromones that only seem to cause him more pain, even though that shouldn't be the case. 

"I - No, you're right. Sungyeol's your alpha, your mate." Sunggyu can only softly give, even though it feels as if razors are cutting his throat while he speaks. But still unable to just dismiss Myungsoo like he shoudl have done, especially since Myungsoo couldn't have been his mate, even though it felt like that, he softly adds, "If you ever need anything... And I mean anything... Especially if Sungyeol isn't there and you can't get a hold of him, you can come to me... With anything, okay?" 

Wincing once again at the sudden increase of pressure from Sungyeol's hold, feeling a little bit of pain from how hard his mate was holding him, Myungsoo hears Sungyeol interrupt, the other gritting his teeth while doing so, "That's enough." 

Understanding, or at least as much as he could in this instance, Sunggyu can only nod, "I - Yes, you're right. I apologize... I - uh, I'll be leaving now." 

Feeling the need to reach out for Sunggyu, to grab onto him and never let him go, Myungsoo can't help but take a step, arm slowly raising to grab onto the other's shirt, to gain some type of comfort and acceptance from the other man. His actions easily causing Sunggyu's eyes to widen in surprise, but when Sungyeol pulls him back a second later, grip so hard that not only is the skin on his shoulder going to bruise, but he can also feel a trickle of blood, letting him know that Sungyeol's nails have pierced into his skin as well, he's done something wrong. Hanging his head down in shame, cursing at his body for betraying him once again, Myungsoo can only mutter, voice unsteady, "Sorry... I - Sorry... G-Goodbye S-Sunggyu-ssi." 

Not wanting to make things worse, especially when the tension was so thick that Sunggyu was sure that he could cut it with a knife, the older man can only nod before finally turning away to walk back to his place. While Sungyeol angrily pulls Myungsoo away, laundry basket in hand, not caring about the blood that's underneath his fingertips. Because after that little display, after Myungsoo literally looking as if he wanted to be Sunggyu's little bitch and basically throwing Sungyeol to the side as if he meant nothing, making him look like a fool, Myungsoo deserved the pain that Sungyeol had just given him. 

Heart racing and head spinning, all Myungsoo can do is follow.

\---

"Hey, babe, I got you a drink." Myungsoo heard Sungyeol whisper into his ear before a drink is being pushed into his hands, something blue, fruity, and probably too coconutty to his tastes meets his sight. He doesn't really want it, especially since he's never really been one for drinks that are usually coconut flavored, but with the prices of drinks, even if Sungyeol's paying, causes Myungsoo to rethink the matter. And while Myungsoo isn't one to say no to drinking alcohol every once in a while, usually going out to drinks with friends and family, he really isn't used to the environment that he's in right now either. Especially with how loud and bright everything is. 

Casinos aren't really his thing and with how everything is literally making his head spin, Myungsoo really shouldn't being having a drink anyway. Especially when Sungyeol's been taking him around to see his friends all night, showing Myungsoo off as if he was candy, making gross gestures and comments while doing so, making Myungsoo feel even worse. Myungsoo didn't even feel as if he was the other's mate with all Sungyeol's talk or how he would grope him in front of his friends, grabbing him so hard sometimes, Myungsoo's sure there are even more bruises on top of the bruises that he already had. Sungyeol was usually never a gentle lover, but somehow, Myungsoo's body still responded to his touch. Something of which made him feel disgusted at times, because Myungsoo never really wanted to be in pain, but somehow got off of it anyway.

Sungyeol should be holding him lovingly in his lap, enjoying the closeness and intimacy that something like that could bring, maybe even kissing him and paying attention to him, but that wasn't happening at all. Sungyeol just pushed him around, degraded him, and made him feel as if he was nothing more than a piece of meat for his friends to stare at. 

It hurt. 

Myungsoo didn't want to be there or even be with his mate at the moment, and that was something that made Myungsoo feel even worse. Mates were supposed to be so close that it felt as if they completed each other, but that wasn't how Myungsoo was feeling or had been feeling at all. And all it boiled down to was that something was wrong and Myungsoo was feeling as if it was more and more his fault, as if he was broken. 

He didn't want to be broken. 

He didn't want to be hurt. 

He just wanted to be loved, taken care of, to feel right, but Sungyeol did none of that, despite being his mate. 

(Was something really wrong with him?)

Feeling tired, Myungsoo finally decided to ask, "Do you think you can just drink it instead? I'm not really up-"

"No, I got it for you and I'm not going to waste it, it costs good money you know?" Sungyeol gave with a sip of his drink, only to push Myungsoo drink back into Myungsoo's hand, hard gaze on him while he did so. 

"But I-" Myungsoo tried again, only for Sungyeol to interrupt, hand somehow finding it's way around Myungsoo wrist to squeeze, causing Myungsoo to wince, "Myungsoo, drink it. I bought it for you and you're not going to waste good alcohol or money." 

Feeling as if there was no room to argue, Myungsoo could only silently nod, feeling even more tired than before as he eventually took a sip. Only to make a face at the too sweet taste of soda, pineapple, and some other fruit he didn't really like. It was gross and he really wished he could just give it to Sungyeol to drink, but seeing how Sungyeol was still giving him a hard look, he just quietly continued to make a couple more sips, trying to ignore the taste. Especially since the more and more he drank, the more and more alcohol he could taste. 

It was way too strong and combined with the amount of sugar and carbonation that was in the drink as well, Myungsoo was just barely stomaching it. 

Seeing Myungsoo continue drinking, Sungyeol could only give, voice too cheery, "Good, you see?" before moving on, voice a little darker than before, "And all you had to do was take the damn drink and drink it like any other omega would..."

"But-"

"Myungsoo, what the fuck, that's like the fifth time you've interrupted me. What the hell is wrong with you today?"

Shrinking back a little at the other's words, Myungsoo couldn't help but look down into his drink and mutter "I don't know." just loud enough for the other to hear.

"Me neither, but whatever it is, fix it. I don't want a bitchy, damaged omega that can't even enjoy his alpha's presence."

There it was. 

Damaged. 

Myungsoo was damaged and even his alpha thought so too...

He felt a little sick.

"Hey! Sungyeol!" 

Looking over to see one of Sungyeol's friends waving him over, all Sungyeol could do was turn back to Myungsoo to say, "Finish your drink, fix yourself, and then meet me over there. I don't need them seeing my omega mate like this... You got it," before he was excusing himself from the smaller man.

While Myungsoo could only feel dread fill the pit of his stomach at how much his mate had noticed, that all Myungsoo could do was nod as the other walked away, his glass starting to shake in his hands. And when he sees Sungyeol throw his head back in laughter as one of his friends makes him laugh, Myungsoo can't help but feel even worse. 

He should be the one making him laugh, but instead, half the time he just feels like running away.

(Damaged. Damaged. Damaged.) 

\---

Lights too bright, head feeling as if someone's taking an ice pick and picking away at his brain, and stomach doing it's best to rebel as the nausea gets worse, all Myungsoo can do is stumble to the bathroom before collapsing onto the cold tiles, hands reaching out to hold the bowl in front of him. Pain richocheting through his body, all Myungsoo can do is to give into it as he violently vomits into the toilet in front him. Vomiting so hard, he's pretty sure there has to be some blood. 

Heaving until all he can do is produce spit and this coppery taste that tells him that he's right, that there is indeed something wrong with him and that he most likely needs to be taken to the hospital, he tries to call for Sungyeol. Only for his voice to give out before he's able to get past one syllable. 

Silently crying at that, at how much he still hurts, and how he now has to make his way out of the bathroom to tell Sungyeol what's going on, he painfully tries to get up. Gripping the toilet and the sink before him, Myungsoo barely manages to pick himself up from the floor. Steeling himself to so that he can walk towards the kitchen, Myungsoo shakily, yet painfully steers his way out of the bathroom. 

But the closer and closer he gets to his kitchen, all he can do is hear Sungyeol insult someone over the phone, yelling so loud that it causes him to wince and almost fall over at the intensity of the pain that suddenly pierces through his skull, Myungsoo can't help but let out a few more tears, knowing that if he even tried to tell Sungyeol anything, nothing would even happen. 

Sungyeol was angry and while he was angry at someone else, Myungsoo just knew that he would be angry with him as well. Especially since Myungsoo was damaged and broken and always got him angry or upset without even doing anything. 

Myungsoo tried not to get him upset, tried to keep him happy, but the longer he was with Sungyeol, the harder and harder it was to do and the more and more pain that he felt. And right now, he didn't want to feel anymore pain. So tiredly turning around, Sungyeol completely unaware what was going on about ten feet away from him, Myungsoo just slowly walks back to his room. 

One arm wrapped around himself, searching for some type of comfort to ease his pain, Myungsoo can't help but mentally call for Sunggyu in his head. 

Stumbling over a heap of clothes as soon as he steps back into his room, to the room that he shared with Sungyeol, he can't help but sigh painfully at the sudden stumble. Feeling even more tired, but needing to do something about the clothes so that he doesn't trip over them again, all Myungsoo can do is bend over to pick them up to fold. Swaying a little bit while he does so, dizziness washing over him, he barely notices something fall out of one of Sungyeol's pockets. 

Curious at the sudden sound of something falling, Myungsoo can't help but look around the room until he notices a plastic bag of what looks to be sugar. Slowly picking it up to inspect, Myungsoo silently opens to bag to see what was inside. Only for this sweet smell to assault his senses before his insides begin to knot themselves, a scorching heat going through him as if he was dropped in the hottest desert, while his hole suspiciously begins to leak. 

Eyes widening, all he can do is quickly, yet shakily close the bag, before he's drooping onto the floor, heat still going through him. The sweet smell almost burns his nose and he feels even weaker than before, yet his body yearns for someone to touch him, to push him down and knot him. He needs his alpha... Needs him so bad it's scary. 

But he doesn't want Sungyeol. 

He doesn't. 

Because whatever was in that bag made him feel like this, and if that was able to make him feel like this, then who was to say Sungyeol hadn't used it to make him feel like that earlier? It doesn't, but with his whole being suddenly rebelling the thought of Sungyeol, while urging him to find his alpha, his Sunggyu, Myungsoo can't help but begin crying anew. 

An omega's body can never be wrong, their heat telling them who their alpha is, their mate, but feeling what was happening to him and from some sort of powder too, Myungsoo knows that Sungyeol was never and had never been his mate. 

Sungyeol tricked him, hurt him... Made him want something he didn't want. 

Sungyeol was bad, so very, very bad, and all Myungsoo wanted was Sunggyu. 

But with the heat suddenly raging through him, helping him produce omega pheromones that would have Sungyeol in the room eventually, the other forcing himself up on him again and Myungsoo unable to say no or stop him, too far gone to do much but spread his legs and plead to be knotted, Myungsoo can only let out another sob. 

This heat wasn't natural. 

None of his heats had been natural.

Muttering "Sunggyu" over and over again under his breath, for his true mate to save him, to get him away from Sungyeol, Myungsoo can only dig deep within himself to force himself up to walk out of the room to find his mate, to get Sunggyu. Stumbling around Sungyeol's house, only to eventually find his way to the garage and out one of the side doors, Myungsoo forces himself to walk outside, to get away from Sungyeol, his house, or anything to do with that man as he finds himself staggering away. 

Barely a mile away, feet bleeding and his body feeling an agony that no one should ever have to experience, he almost lights up when he sees a woman, an omega and her mate fifty or so feet up ahead. All he can do is painfully and tiredly make his way towards them, tears still falling from his face as he mutters, "Get Kim Sunggyu, please get Sunggyu, he's my mate, he's my mate," before he eventually falls forwards, unable to keep himself up anymore. 

Only for him to hear the woman suddenly scream, almost as if she could literally feel all the pain and suffering Myungsoo had been feeling coming off of him in waves, "Call an ambulance, get an ambulance now... And his mate, he needs his mate..."

Then he knows no more.


	4. Chapter 4

Feeling the sun's warmth and brightness against his face, the sun a little bit too harsh on his closed eyes, and this antiseptic smell that makes his nose twitch and maybe just a tad bit woozy, the smell way too strong, he can't help but wake up with a groan. Grabbing his pillow and putting it on top of his head to block the light while turning away from the sun that was doing a lot more harm than good, he can't help but freeze when he hears a chuckle as the curtain closes, blocking the light. Fear running through him at the sound, at the possibility of Sungyeol being here, Myungsoo can't help but cower a little, afraid that he was going to be taken away again, drugged.

But when the other suddenly stops his laughing, the other obviously seeing Myungsoo's reaction, able to feel the sudden fear, the occupant can't help but be a little bit angry. But not wanting to scare the younger man, he does his best to keep his voice light, but strong, and clear enough to get Myungsoo to realize that it's Sunggyu and not him, he gives, "Myungsoo, it's me, Sunggyu."

Hearing Sunggyu's voice, his velvety-smooth voice, that makes him feel nothing but warmth and safety, he can't help but relax and open his eyes to take in the other's form. Mouth dry and throat hurting while his other muscles feel kind of numb, high dosage painkillers running through him to block out the pain, he does his best to speak, only for "Sunggyu" to come out weak and cracky in a way that makes him flinch.

While Sunggyu can only make his way towards the side of the room to get the other a drink, grabbing a water bottle, only for Myungsoo to feel a little cold at the thought of Sunggyu leaving. Letting out a sound close to a mew, not wanting Sunggyu to leave him alone, Myungsoo can't help but turn his body in a way that's close to him ripping his IV out. He doesn't want Sunggyu to leave, he doesn't want Sunggyu to hate him for being damaged, for not being able to realize what Sungyeol had been doing in the first place. He doesn't want Sunggyu to think he's dirty and gross, the thought of Sungyeol violating him over and over again, hurting him, running rampant in his mind. 

He doesn't know he's crying until the tears start. 

While Sunggyu can only close the distance between them, running to put Myungsoo back in bed, to keep him from hurting himself. But seeing his mate cry, being able to feel this heart-wrenching hurt, he can only move quicker until he's literally pulling Myungsoo into his chest, hugging him as he carefully resituates the other onto the bed. Myungsoo can't help but grab onto Sunggyu's sweater, breathing his scent in, a scent that makes him feel a lot safer than he was, protected in ways he hadn't felt before. 

"Oh, baby, don't cry, please don't cry," Sunggyu softly reassures him, voice rough, but sweet to Myungsoo's ears, "I was just trying to get you some water. I wasn't leaving, I promise. I wasn't leaving, so please don't feel like I was. I'm here and you're safe, you're safe baby." 

Body trembling, Myungsoo barely manages to get his tears under control, but with Sunggyu reassuring him, making him feel safe and loved, it's a lot easier to do. He can literally feel Sunggyu's strength in the other's hold, Sunggyu holding him in a way that tells him that he's not going to let go, that he's never going to let go, because Myungsoo is his and Sunggyu's not going allow anyone to hurt him. It makes him feel better - good, but despite that, the memories of Sungyeol are still alive and he just hopes that Sunggyu will still take him, will still love him. 

"Myungsoo, I've got you, I got you... I'm not going anywhere, nobody's going to keep us apart, no one." 

Calming down just enough to realize that he's indeed wearing an IV on his arm and that there are a couple of tubes attached to his chest, all of them connected to a heart rate monitor, Myungsoo's able to realize that he's in a hospital, getting treatment. His brain finally catching up just enough to know where he is, everything starting to make a lot more sense. 

Leaning into Sunggyu's gentle, yet strong, touch, Myungsoo can't help but feel a little emotional about it. His mate is finally next to him and he can't help but be happy. 

"Sunggyu -"

"Don't speak for right now, you don't need to strain yourself, okay?" Sunggyu softly gave before he was opening the water bottle he had grabbed to let Myungsoo drink. Helping the younger man drink, telling him to take small sips and not drink too much to feel sick, Myungsoo manages to drink enough water to quench his thirst and lubricate his throat enough to speak without cracking as much. Letting Sunggyu close the bottle and place it on the table next to his bed, Myungsoo can't help but close his eyes, thinking about what he had done with Sungyeol, and mutter, "Sorry - I'm sorry." 

Tensing at the other's apology, at how scared and hurt Myungsoo sounded, Sunggyu could only hold onto Myungsoo even tighter, careful of the medical gear attached to him, "Why are you apologizing, you have nothing to say sorry for." 

Yes, he does. He so very does because he could have been with Sunggyu much earlier, could have made Sunggyu much more happy, he could have given Sunggyu someone much less damaged and dirty. 

"I - Sungyeol - He's - I," Unable to go on and confess what Sungyeol had did, to confess what he had done... What Sungyeol had made him do, he stops. It's too much, way too much. 

Frowning a little at Myungsoo words, while anger burns through him, already knowing what Myungsoo was thinking about, how could he not really. Especially after he had found out what Sungyeol did and how bad off Myungsoo was, the other so sick that he had started experiencing organ failure, Sunggyu couldn't help but be angry. Sungyeol had almost killed Myungsoo with his greed, with how much he had been drugging the boy, forcing his body in a state that constantly damaged his insides. The constant heats that Myungsoo had been going through, all of them too soon and too fast and just too much, had literally cooked his insides.

Sunggyu didn't even think Myungsoo could bear children anymore if he had wanted to (and he was pretty sure Myungsoo would have wanted to, Myungsoo looked the type that wanted a lot of kids, and just knowing that he wouldn't be able to bear them was literally going to break Myungsoo's heart), the damage from the drugs already done. Between that and the state of his stomach and intestines, it was going to be a while until Myungsoo would be able to eat anything other than bland foods for a while, and even then, he'd truly never be able to eat certain spices and many types of spicy food again. Never mind the emotional damage that Sungyeol had done to Myungsoo. 

Sunggyu had every right to be livid at Sungyeol and he was, and once Myungsoo was well enough for Sunggyu to leave his side long enough to take care of Sungyeol, Sunggyu was going to enjoy last minute he was going to get with that piece of scum. It was his right as an alpha after all, and with how badly injured Myungsoo was, Sunggyu was going to make it painful and give the other enough terrible memories to last him for years. It was only fair.

But knowing that this wasn't the time nor the place for his anger, Sunggyu quickly calmed himself down so that he could reassure his mate and assure him that he wasn't at fault for anything and that Sungyeol was all to blame. Taking the other's hand so that he could kiss the back of it, drawing Myungsoo's attention to him like a moth to a flame, he assured, "It wasn't your fault, nothing was your fault in this. Sungyeol had drugged you, had raped you - yes, Myungsoo, raped, he raped you, and hurt you in ways that no one deserves to be hurt. And just because you think you gave in and did things of your own free will because of your body making you think you were okay with things, you didn't. You didn't want him and you definitely didn't want his advances. He hurt you, and you are not the blame for any of what he did, okay?"

Unable to take his eyes off of Sunggyu throughout the other's speech, his mate's words telling him things that he needed to know so that he could realize his relationship and everything that occurred in it wasn't his fault, Myungsoo couldn't help but continue to listen, even if he felt like he was still his fault. Despite that, his mate's words reassured him that he wasn't to blame, that he was still wanted, that he wasn't dirty...

"And while I know you may not fully believe everything that I say and that you may be feeling as if you're too damaged or dirty to have me or that you are tainting me or anything like that, you're not. You're not dirty, damaged, or weak, and you're definitely not tainting me in anyway. You're beautiful and strong and I'm so fucking proud of you, I'm proud that you are my mate and I'm never going to throw you out or do anything that would make you think something like that.

"You were able to get away from Sungyeol, you were able to run away from his home, all the while within heat, to get help and call for me. You called for me, not Sungyeol, not anyone else. You got away, do you realize how much courage and strength that takes?"

Despite Sunggyu's words, Myungsoo doesn't feel strong at all. He still allowed all of that to happen and it wasn't like he had been on drugs the whole time. He had done things Sungyeol wanted to do and he allowed it, so how could he be strong. How could Sunggyu be proud of him? 

He had failed his mate. He had failed him by allowing another mate to touch him like they did. He had ignored all the signs of his body telling him that things were wrong, that Sungyeol wasn't his mate, but he hadn't listened. He hadn't listened and now he was damaged goods. 

Why would Sunggyu want him? Why would anyone want damaged goods like him?

"When one of the hospital staff called me, they told me that you were sick, my mate was sick and injured, and that he needed me. The couple that found you had brought you in and despite you being unconscious, you still called for me. And during all of that I had felt something was wrong, that something wasn't right, but once the hospital had called, confirming what I had been feeling, I knew it was you. I knew it, you're my mate, and even now, I can feel everything that I had felt for you the first time I had seen you and had spoken to you."

Eyes widening at Sunggyu's admission, he can't help but softly give, "I felt that too, I felt that you were -"

"I know you did, I know you've been fighting for me every step of the way," Suddenly smiling, Sunggyu can only continue on, "You're my mate and we're meant to be. You're my forever and I know how cheesy that sounds, how ridiculous, but somehow, I can't stop myself from thinking about shit like that. You're my mate and I love you." 

Cringing at the other's words, at how right they felt, only for Sungyeol to flash in his mind, Myungsoo couldn't help but be upset that during that time he had thought that he had belonged to someone else. 

"And you know the doctor, he found the drugs in your pocket, he found them and analyzed them... I - I just want to fucking kill him, I want to beat him so bad for doing what he did that -"

Unable to keep himself quiet, to keep himself from asking, Myungsoo can't help but mutter, "Where is he?"

"He's going to jail, he's gotten a life sentence because of what he did to you, and he's never going to get you again, I swear. My lawyers are going to make sure of that."

Feeling Sunggyu pull him into another hug, he can't help but let out a sigh of relief, a few pent up tears falling as well, at the thought of never having to see Sungyeol again.

He tries not to wonder why he's not feeling any symptoms of a mate induced heat.

(The truth might actually break him.)

\---

When the doctor comes and explains everything to him, going over everything that Sunggyu had mentioned and telling him things that Sunggyu hadn't mentioned, the other not wanting to upset him anymore, Myungsoo can't help but start to bawl, hurt so apparent that even Sunggyu can't help but tear up a little as well.

Unable to do anything else but speak soft words, make promises that they'll get through this and that they can adopt, and hold Myungsoo until the other tires himself out, completely drained and with a gaping hole the size of a mountain inside his chest.

Sunggyu had a feeling that it was going to be true, but after hearing it and after seeing Myungsoo break down the way he did, it's even more painful that he could have ever imagined. 

Myungsoo will never be able to bear a child. 

\---

For the next couple of weeks during Myungsoo's recovery, Sunggyu doesn't leave the other's side, apart from the quick trips the cafeteria, the bathroom and the one day that he had been able to get way to see Sungyeol. Sunggyu leaving the man in a condition that would take weeks, if not years for the other to recover from, anger easily fueling the beating that Sunggyu had given him. With the other being put away for good and Sungyeol put in a position where he would never forget what he had done for the rest of his life, that was more than good enough for Sunggyu. 

(It really wasn't, but it had to be.)

Myungsoo was safe, was alive, and recovering. 

And even if Myungsoo was starting to protest the amount that Sunggyu was spending with him at the hospital (Myungsoo afraid that Sunggyu was going to get bored with him or have Sunggyu feel as if he was too clingy), Sunggyu would remind Myungsoo that his health was more important and that he would go back to work once Myungsoo had recovered enough. Sunggyu wasn't going to let Myungsoo face or even feel as if he had to face what he was going through alone. It also helped that Sunggyu had more than enough money to take care of the two of them for years, but used to living a more modest life style, he just didn't look as well off as he was. So it wasn't like him being away from work was going to affect him much, especially when he could easily do his work wherever he wanted.

Being there for Myungsoo when he had done his deposition, when he had spoken to his family and friends, and being there whenever Myungsoo wanted him to be there for him during therapy, Sunggyu was just glad that Myungsoo was getting better, looking more lively. And once Myungsoo was able to be taken off the diet he had been placed on, had recovered from the couple of surgeries that he had to go through to repair some of his internal injuries, and had gone through enough therapy sessions that the therapist was confident that Myungsoo could leave, as long as he kept up with the therapy as he was out, Myungsoo had finally been able to go home.

And while the lack of heat Myungsoo still displayed most likely had to do with the damage that was done to him, the doctor was confident that Myungsoo would still feel some symptoms later on. It would never be as intense as what it was supposed to be, but he would feel it eventually when his body had recovered enough to allow it. 

So on their way home, Sunggyu driving them back to the apartment building that the two of them live in, Sunggyu just pulls Myungsoo along, going past Myungsoo's apartment to go to his own, "We'll grab some of your stuff tomorrow, but right now, we're going to my place... Which will also be your place as well, when you're feeling a little bit better, we'll move the rest of your stuff into mine, alright?"

Feeling a pleasant warmth encase his chest and a smile find it's way across his face, Myungsoo can't help but feel happy at the thought, while Sunggyu continues to pull him along until the two of them are inside of his apartment. Only for Sunggyu to plop himself on the couch with Myungsoo in his lap, Sunggyu wrapping his arms around the slightly taller and much lighter man than he had been a month or so ago. Myungsoo probably weighs at least 10 kilograms lighter than what he had been at when Sunggyu had met him that Sunggyu can only make a mental note to quickly change that. 

But with the two of them sitting on the couch, Sunggyu so close and tangible and with the apartment still smelling like his mate, Myungsoo finally is able to let out a long, deep breath that he didn't even know he needed. The simple act of cuddling giving the two what they needed as Myungsoo finally felt whole and content in Sunggyu's arms, the bond between them true and reassuring, and despite the past, Myungsoo actually feels good about the two of them, glad to be accepted by his mate. 

He swears to never let Sunggyu down again.

Feeling Sunggyu's stubble scratch the back of his neck and the other to lightly kiss his hair, Myungsoo can't help but relax a bit more. While Sunggyu can only give, lips tickling Myungsoo's ear, "I don't want to assume or make you feel like I'm forcing you into this, especially if you're not comfortable, but can I ask you to move in with me. I want to be with you, I want to wake up next to you, I want to cook meals... Okay, I'm not the greatest cook, but you said you liked it and I'm more than okay eating what you make. I want you to be here with me... We can even repaint and rearrange anything you want just to make it feel like home, okay? So please say yes, please... I love you, so please."

Turning around so that Myungsoo could see Sunggyu's face, so that he could kiss the other man, he can only say "Yes, yes, yes, I love you too, yes," before he's closing the gap between them. 

The kiss is sweet. yet completely perfect, and right now, that's all Myungsoo needed.

And when the weeks continue to pass, Myungsoo getting better every day and actually smiling a lot more freely than he had in months, it almost takes the two in surprise when Myungsoo wakes up sweating and a little bit warmer, hole dripping, obviously in heat.

"Sunggyu, I need you, please, I need you." 

While all Sunggyu can do is pull Myungsoo closer to give him a kiss before whispering, "I know love, I know, now just let me take care of it, okay?"

Nodding, a little breathless, but full of want, of need, his alpha quickly kisses him some more, taking great care to map out his mouth and nibble at his bottom lip while undressing him at the same time. Only to pause when he's pulling Myungsoo's shirt off his head, before he's ditching his boxers as well.

Sunggyu's touch, hands warm and strong against his stomach, causes Myungsoo to moan, lifting his hips and arching up to get even closer to the other man, wanting him more than ever. The heat quite weak in comparison to those that he's had in the past, but the most natural feeling heat he's ever had, he can't help but whine, "Please, Sunggyu, please. I need you." 

Growling at Myungsoo's pleas, at how delicious Myungsoo's moans are, Sunggyu's fingers quickly finding Myungsoo's hole, meeting slick and warmth, two of them slip in to prepare him. Kissing the other's mouth while his fingers open him up, a third one quickly following the other two, Sunggyu quickly makes his way down the other's neck and chest, nibbling and sucking at Myungsoo's skin, taking great care to nip at the other's nipples. Myungsoo's nipple's being quite sensitive that it barely takes a lick or two to get him whining constantly with need, muttering "Sunggyu" over and over again. 

Smiling at how cute the sounds coming from Myungsoo were, Sunggyu could only crook his three fingers just right, causing Myungsoo to sob when he touches the other's prostate. Fingers pulling away, Myungsoo trying to follow him, wanting something inside him, Sunggyu just gives him one last kiss before he's pushing his cock into Myungsoo's hole, able to bottom out in one sweep. Feeling Myungsoo pushing down on him, face red and hands gripping the sheets, obviously wanting this more than anything, Sunggyu quickly starts to fuck him, each thrust being harder than the last. 

It's completely mind blowing. 

And all Myungsoo can do is whine and whimper with need, unable to say much else when Sunggyu's cock constantly drags along his prostate, only for Sunggyu's knot to push past the rim of Myungsoo's hole. Myungsoo silently screaming as he comes, hole spasming before it's clamping down on Sunggyu's dick, pulling him in even more, feeling unbelievably good. Sunggyu thrusts one more time before he's stopping as his vision goes white, knot completely lodged into Myungsoo and securing his load inside of him. 

Feeling Sunggyu come, his warmth, and strength, Myungsoo can't help but start to cry.

While Sunggyu, able to understand what's going through Myungso's mind, can only pull the omega close to him, knot still inside the other, as he softly tells him that it's alright and that they will have children, that they will adopt and be happy, and that Myungsoo is in no way guilty or defective. 

"You're so fucking perfect, baby, so perfect, and you'll always will be."

Kissing the other's tears away, Sunggyu can only hold onto the other until Myungsoo feels okay again, for the other to eventually bask in the feel of having his mate's knot in him, telling him that he belongs to Sunggyu and that Sunggyu won't be going anywhere.

Pulling up the blanket to cover them, the two still attached and Sunggyu not wanting to go anywhere, wanting to hold onto Myungsoo for forever, if he could, he softly whispers "I love you" into Myungsoo's hair. While Myungsoo can only nod, unable to stop himself from thinking about what could have beens in Sunggyu's arm, but when Sunggyu just pulls him closer to his chest, Myungsoo can't help but think about how lucky he is to have an alpha like Sunggyu, to be loved despite everything, that the two eventually fall asleep. Both with small smiles on their faces, even if Myungsoo's was barely there, but with Sunggyu by his side, that was surely to change as well. 

It's not exactly the happiest of endings for either of them, but they'll eventually get there, Sunggyu would make sure of it.


End file.
